I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
