Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
