Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
