took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
