the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
