Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
And the cops told us we were all naked.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
