Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
