Sry I called you an 8
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
