PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
