i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
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6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
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I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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