I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
