I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
