Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
