thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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