A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
