The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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