She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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