Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
