he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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