He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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