I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
