its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
it's like iHOP with fire
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
