How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I have demons in me.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
