white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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