I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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