I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
