spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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