If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
where am i from again
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Alive.
So much puke
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
