I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
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there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
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The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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