you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
