He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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