Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
