Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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