She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
