You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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