why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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