there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
