idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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