i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
pop tarts are not kleenex
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
