yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
My bed smells like the plague
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