Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
