I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
