Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
