with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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