Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
