Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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