dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
