I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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