never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
