I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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