She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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