Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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