I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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