we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
