Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
