so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
