My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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