smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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