Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
