I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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