I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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