I just made out with a guy for $7.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
PANTIES FOUND
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