I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Randomize
