i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
