just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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